whatever with your however

A couple walked into the coffeshop and started making out. Granted they went to one of the back couches, and there was hardly anyone else in there, but still. The way they started making out, they couldn't have been older than 16, which I guess then makes it ok. But still. Is this really what kids do? It makes me wonder what they do when they're alone. I guess them being 16 and all, they don't get very much alone time, but still .You have to wonder.

She opens her eyes for a second and sees one of the cashiers look at her, she smiles, she resumes the kissing. If she was ten years older, you'd think she was flirting. You'd think she was a slut. You'd think of ways of telling them to leave. But they're both 16, and at that age everything is everything to you, and anything can be the end of the world. If you tell them to leave, they'd probably look at you with eyes that say "please don't take this from us, this is all we have". That, or their eyes would say "Fuck off".

More than inappropriate, I'd call it disproportionate. And then wonder what I meant. However, they ARE 16. So I guess it's ok to do this when you're 16, but still. In my headphones, the little plastic buds blast Tracie Thoms yelling at Zoe Bell: "Whatever with your however!". Serendipity happens. As does everything else.

That wet sucking sound coming from the couch in the corner. And the volume on Zoe won't go higher. "However" she says. Though it sounds more like "Howeva". I guess wet sucking kisses sound better than gunshots, but still.

Imagine the embarrasment then when a parent walks in. Serendipity again. They'd chosen a corner couch, unfortunatelty that corner was right next to one of the entrances. That entrance is where a parent stood. One second he's thinking what kind of coffee he'll have today, the next he's wishing he'd listened to his friend who told him about a new coffeshop they opened a couple of blocks away. For a while nothing happens. Then nothing happens for a little while
longer. The three of them trying to come up with something to say. Trying to conjure up the right words that will make time go back. A magical spell that'll take them away.

The girl says hi. They boy mutters something incomprehensible. Everyone assumes he meant "hello", and it's fine. The father says he came in to get some coffee, he asks her what she's drinking. She answers whatever she answers. The father then says that sounds good and walks towards the counter. The cashier takes his order, small talks about her not drinking coffee. "It's ironic", she says. She doesn't like the taste, that's what she says when you ask her why. She's the one that exchanged looks with her customer's daughter a couple minutes ago. She says to him, with a calm and peaceful voice she says: "Would you like sugar with that?" He says, "No, too much sugar for today".

The joke seems to escape them both.

In the grand disproportionate scheme of things, from the point of view of the big Whatever, in the largest scope of humanity and existence, everyone is always missing the joke.

Up next: The top 10 books that make you stupid.