New Post

I have a great idea about an end of the year post.

But I don't have time.

Maybe later.

Otherwise, my final Christmas / End of the year special will coe at the beginning of next year...

Up next: White noise

New Post

I have a great idea about an end of the year post.

But I don't have time.

Maybe later.

Otherwise, my final Christmas / End of the year special will coe at the beginning of next year...

Up next: White noise

Christmas Special part II

I think it's called a cacophony? I believe, I believe, I believe...



And I believe both Ann Curry and Matt Lauer wanted to do a little more to this girl than try to justify her stupidity.


Up next: The number one quote of this year (according to the Yale Book of Quotations) was "Don't tase me, bro!". Number two was the girl you just heard. Number three was Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's comment at Columbia: "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country". I personally believe it should've been Seth Rogen's answer to "I was drunk!", he says: "Was your vagina drunk?!".

Christmas Special part II

I think it's called a cacophony? I believe, I believe, I believe...



And I believe both Ann Curry and Matt Lauer wanted to do a little more to this girl than try to justify her stupidity.


Up next: The number one quote of this year (according to the Yale Book of Quotations) was "Don't tase me, bro!". Number two was the girl you just heard. Number three was Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's comment at Columbia: "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country". I personally believe it should've been Seth Rogen's answer to "I was drunk!", he says: "Was your vagina drunk?!".

Christmas Special I

So my office Christmas party was today.

It was a costume party...

and they say Michael Scott's antics would never happen in real life.

Christmas Special I

So my office Christmas party was today.

It was a costume party...

and they say Michael Scott's antics would never happen in real life.

Stupid clerks

So I went to the store the other day...

Me
A pack of Camels, please

Clerk
Normal or 14's

Me
Normal

Clerk
We don't have any.

Me
So then 14's

Clerk
We don't have those either.

And there's twenty seconds of my life I'm never gonna get back.



Up next: There will come a point in which you'll realize you're probably smarter than everyone else. Unless you're not.

Stupid clerks

So I went to the store the other day...

Me
A pack of Camels, please

Clerk
Normal or 14's

Me
Normal

Clerk
We don't have any.

Me
So then 14's

Clerk
We don't have those either.

And there's twenty seconds of my life I'm never gonna get back.



Up next: There will come a point in which you'll realize you're probably smarter than everyone else. Unless you're not.

El Titanico

Up next: The reason why most people can't pronounce the word SFRITDFE, which means: "all is given if given is great".

El Titanico

Up next: The reason why most people can't pronounce the word SFRITDFE, which means: "all is given if given is great".

Pretend you can hear it too!

Supposedly this is what Mr. William Murray says to Scarlett O'Hanson at the end of the awesome kick-ass picture: Lost in Translation, in which both characters are apparently (if we agree with the ridiculous naming of the film in spanish) lost in Tokyo.

Almost simultaneously, I read another unrelated article that has a quote very fitting for this one: "It was one of these things like, 'Oh my god, no one's ever thought of this,' and it looks so obvious," Liza Shapiro of the University of Texas at Austin, who helped supervise the work, said in a telephone interview. You can read that completely unrelated article here.

Take a look and listen and draw your own conclusions. Or use the Jump to Conclusions mat, to avoid thinking for yourself. I hear that's in now.



Up next: Do you realize that in all likelihood you will one day say to your kids: "When I was young, there was a planet named Pluto"? And they'll blankly stare at you before mocking you with their biologically-enhanced cyborg friends.

Bibliography:
slashfilm

Pretend you can hear it too!

Supposedly this is what Mr. William Murray says to Scarlett O'Hanson at the end of the awesome kick-ass picture: Lost in Translation, in which both characters are apparently (if we agree with the ridiculous naming of the film in spanish) lost in Tokyo.

Almost simultaneously, I read another unrelated article that has a quote very fitting for this one: "It was one of these things like, 'Oh my god, no one's ever thought of this,' and it looks so obvious," Liza Shapiro of the University of Texas at Austin, who helped supervise the work, said in a telephone interview. You can read that completely unrelated article here.

Take a look and listen and draw your own conclusions. Or use the Jump to Conclusions mat, to avoid thinking for yourself. I hear that's in now.



Up next: Do you realize that in all likelihood you will one day say to your kids: "When I was young, there was a planet named Pluto"? And they'll blankly stare at you before mocking you with their biologically-enhanced cyborg friends.

Bibliography:
slashfilm

TinAmex

Not surprisingly, Tina Fey has been nominated for Best Comedy series (for the show she produces, 30 Rock... she herself is not actually a series... comedy or otherwise) and Best Actress at the Golden Globes. You can read the complete list of nominees here, OR you can watch a random video of a cute bear here.

Up next: A congrats to Alec Baldwin for also getting nominationed.

TinAmex

Not surprisingly, Tina Fey has been nominated for Best Comedy series (for the show she produces, 30 Rock... she herself is not actually a series... comedy or otherwise) and Best Actress at the Golden Globes. You can read the complete list of nominees here, OR you can watch a random video of a cute bear here.

Up next: A congrats to Alec Baldwin for also getting nominationed.

What would you do...

...for the flying car?



Who else, but Kevin Smith?

Up next: Something else I wish I had written.

What would you do...

...for the flying car?



Who else, but Kevin Smith?

Up next: Something else I wish I had written.

What Variety (Variety!) has to say on Benicio Del Toro

Benicio Del Toro... Click the image to enlarge.. or here for the original post on their site, though it'll be probably be gone by the time you see this...



Up next: You say M&M I say Eminem

What Variety (Variety!) has to say on Benicio Del Toro

Benicio Del Toro... Click the image to enlarge.. or here for the original post on their site, though it'll be probably be gone by the time you see this...



Up next: You say M&M I say Eminem

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam...

I got this email today:


And I wonder if there's anyone, anywhere, that responds to these things...

Up Next: It's Latin day! Con sangre caliente! Latina!

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam...

I got this email today:


And I wonder if there's anyone, anywhere, that responds to these things...

Up Next: It's Latin day! Con sangre caliente! Latina!

Graphic Palahniuk

Someone (may or may not be a renowned graphic artist) has graphic novelized Chuck Palahniuk's awesome Invisible Monsters and Lullaby.

Go. Now. Awesome.

It only makes me wish even more I could draw. But I can't.

Up next: More awesome things.

Graphic Palahniuk

Someone (may or may not be a renowned graphic artist) has graphic novelized Chuck Palahniuk's awesome Invisible Monsters and Lullaby.

Go. Now. Awesome.

It only makes me wish even more I could draw. But I can't.

Up next: More awesome things.

What Facebook thinks of me

The results in one of the many useles facebook applications, or apps, is that apparently I am either Michael
Or Jim...
So.... I guess I'm pretty much anyone...

Up next: A review of the only truly unique fantasy movie ever: The Chronicles of the Magical Stardust Golden Rings of Narnia.

What Facebook thinks of me

The results in one of the many useles facebook applications, or apps, is that apparently I am either Michael
Or Jim...
So.... I guess I'm pretty much anyone...

Up next: A review of the only truly unique fantasy movie ever: The Chronicles of the Magical Stardust Golden Rings of Narnia.

The Science of Comments

For the past few weeks, our sociologists, scientists and surgeon general's have been researching the reasons behind the non-posting of comments on this site. Here are the major answers they got to the question, Why don't you comment?:

1. Because commenting is for losers.
2. Because I’m lame and no one will ever care about anything I have to say.
3 .Because I have better things to do and am wondering why I’m even here in the first place.
4. Because I don’t know how to.
5. Because I’m an automated response cyborg and can’t see the code I have to type in.
6. I do comment! I just always forget to press SUBMIT
7. Because if I have anything to say, I’ll say it privately. I don’t need the whole world to know.
8. Because I’m pretty sure the whole world doesn’t visit this site, so it’s rather pointless.
9. Because I’m not even here, I don’t know this exists. And this sentence is a paradox in itself, it’ll probably soon disappear in a puff of logic.
10- Because I’m afraid if I comment people will call me names. Or say I don’t make sense.
11. Because I only comment about things I care about, like thanking people for the add on MySpace.
12. Because it’s againt my beliefs.
13. Because I like to pretend I don’t exist.
14. Because I don’t have the time.
15. Because even if I had the time, I’d feel like I was wasting it.

Up next: The many reasons of why Beowulf is not the same as Beemovie

The Science of Comments

For the past few weeks, our sociologists, scientists and surgeon general's have been researching the reasons behind the non-posting of comments on this site. Here are the major answers they got to the question, Why don't you comment?:

1. Because commenting is for losers.
2. Because I’m lame and no one will ever care about anything I have to say.
3 .Because I have better things to do and am wondering why I’m even here in the first place.
4. Because I don’t know how to.
5. Because I’m an automated response cyborg and can’t see the code I have to type in.
6. I do comment! I just always forget to press SUBMIT
7. Because if I have anything to say, I’ll say it privately. I don’t need the whole world to know.
8. Because I’m pretty sure the whole world doesn’t visit this site, so it’s rather pointless.
9. Because I’m not even here, I don’t know this exists. And this sentence is a paradox in itself, it’ll probably soon disappear in a puff of logic.
10- Because I’m afraid if I comment people will call me names. Or say I don’t make sense.
11. Because I only comment about things I care about, like thanking people for the add on MySpace.
12. Because it’s againt my beliefs.
13. Because I like to pretend I don’t exist.
14. Because I don’t have the time.
15. Because even if I had the time, I’d feel like I was wasting it.

Up next: The many reasons of why Beowulf is not the same as Beemovie

What google finds funny

It seems like a rather narcissistic thing to go about doing, to Google yourself. Although I must admit that entering "YOUR FIRST NAME HERE is" produces some interesting results. Go, do it. I'll wait.

Now that you're back, and found you are "a large handsome man with boyish looks" or "looking for a date in South Philly", I present to you what the Almighty Google has to say about the popularity of some of my (my) favorite comedians.

(I had every intention of ordering them in some way or another, but I found randomness is the true meaning of life. That, and it was just too much damn trouble. So deal with it. Although I did manage to place Tina Fey at the very top)...



Up next: More fun with Google.

What google finds funny

It seems like a rather narcissistic thing to go about doing, to Google yourself. Although I must admit that entering "YOUR FIRST NAME HERE is" produces some interesting results. Go, do it. I'll wait.

Now that you're back, and found you are "a large handsome man with boyish looks" or "looking for a date in South Philly", I present to you what the Almighty Google has to say about the popularity of some of my (my) favorite comedians.

(I had every intention of ordering them in some way or another, but I found randomness is the true meaning of life. That, and it was just too much damn trouble. So deal with it. Although I did manage to place Tina Fey at the very top)...



Up next: More fun with Google.

Funky Brewster

My friend from This Way Goes The Chinese sent me, or rather, posted on my "wall" (or is it "my wall", or "my" wall) this:

It's very cool and funky, full of funk and junk in the trunk

Up next: Interesting and revealing internet results

Funky Brewster

My friend from This Way Goes The Chinese sent me, or rather, posted on my "wall" (or is it "my wall", or "my" wall) this:

It's very cool and funky, full of funk and junk in the trunk

Up next: Interesting and revealing internet results

Random oredered nonsense

I can't write because I'm tired, and I can't be tired because I write. Or is it the other way around?
it's hard to tell at this stage.

This stage is to the left, by the way.

Saucy songbird and a series of sizzling nothingness

Random oredered nonsense

I can't write because I'm tired, and I can't be tired because I write. Or is it the other way around?
it's hard to tell at this stage.

This stage is to the left, by the way.

Saucy songbird and a series of sizzling nothingness

Roughly, it's worthless at a billion dollars

2 for 1 special! It's funny and informative!

A bit of the old corporate hypocrisy...




Up next: It's really impossible to tell at this point...

Roughly, it's worthless at a billion dollars

2 for 1 special! It's funny and informative!

A bit of the old corporate hypocrisy...




Up next: It's really impossible to tell at this point...

No funny business, just yet

The blockbusters of 2009 are sitting unwritten. That’s an economic factor I’ve never seen reported in all of this. The next installments of Spider-Man, Harry Potter, and every other movie franchise are unwritten and unproducible until the strike is over.

If I were a theater chain, I’d be worried. If I were Wal-Mart, I’d demand answers. If I were a shareholder, I’d demand blood. The AMPTP’s refusal to return to the bargaining table is costing more than jobs, and will keep hurting the studios well into 2009 unless they get back to negotiating.

From John August.

No funny business, just yet

The blockbusters of 2009 are sitting unwritten. That’s an economic factor I’ve never seen reported in all of this. The next installments of Spider-Man, Harry Potter, and every other movie franchise are unwritten and unproducible until the strike is over.

If I were a theater chain, I’d be worried. If I were Wal-Mart, I’d demand answers. If I were a shareholder, I’d demand blood. The AMPTP’s refusal to return to the bargaining table is costing more than jobs, and will keep hurting the studios well into 2009 unless they get back to negotiating.

From John August.

Sorry for the prolongued unfunnyness...

But you MUST see this. Look. Listen. Understand.



Up Next: Something moderately funny. Because this is the Internets, I get to write.

Sorry for the prolongued unfunnyness...

But you MUST see this. Look. Listen. Understand.



Up Next: Something moderately funny. Because this is the Internets, I get to write.

Fight the power

No funny business.

Civil disobedience is cool, and so is Nikki Finke.

Here's a snippet from her latest on the strike:

Jeez, it suddenly occurred to me that the next weeks and months will be a wonderful time for tourists from around the world to travel to Los Angeles and see celebrities in their new natural habitat: the picket line. Maybe an uptick in tourism dollars could make up for the inevitable downturn in the city's economy as Hollywood production goes increasingly dark. I'm not clever enough to come up with a new slogan. But I bet you are. More, here

John August, a screenwriter is also keeping everyone updated here. And here's a snippet from him:

I don’t know but I been told,
Sumner Redstone’s made of gold.
Makes his money off our sweat,
Won’t pay us for internet.

I don’t know but some folk say,
Paramount is late to pay.
Why we marching at this gate?
We got screwed in ‘88.

Keep it up writers, stick it to the man
Up next: Probably a re-run or a reality blog of some sort

Fight the power

No funny business.

Civil disobedience is cool, and so is Nikki Finke.

Here's a snippet from her latest on the strike:

Jeez, it suddenly occurred to me that the next weeks and months will be a wonderful time for tourists from around the world to travel to Los Angeles and see celebrities in their new natural habitat: the picket line. Maybe an uptick in tourism dollars could make up for the inevitable downturn in the city's economy as Hollywood production goes increasingly dark. I'm not clever enough to come up with a new slogan. But I bet you are. More, here

John August, a screenwriter is also keeping everyone updated here. And here's a snippet from him:

I don’t know but I been told,
Sumner Redstone’s made of gold.
Makes his money off our sweat,
Won’t pay us for internet.

I don’t know but some folk say,
Paramount is late to pay.
Why we marching at this gate?
We got screwed in ‘88.

Keep it up writers, stick it to the man
Up next: Probably a re-run or a reality blog of some sort

If The Strokes went on strike, would they be The Strikes?

Apparently Hollywood writers have gone on strike as of today. They demand more money from the DVD and online sales of the shows and movies they've written. I happen to think it's only fair. After all, without the writers we would have


You can get better, clearer and much better written information from Nikki Finke, here.

Up next: Something completely different.

If The Strokes went on strike, would they be The Strikes?

Apparently Hollywood writers have gone on strike as of today. They demand more money from the DVD and online sales of the shows and movies they've written. I happen to think it's only fair. After all, without the writers we would have


You can get better, clearer and much better written information from Nikki Finke, here.

Up next: Something completely different.

Tina Fey is awesome

Tina Fey and the Flowers

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Tina Fey is awesome

Tina Fey and the Flowers

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Just let it bee

- Why do girls do that? Wear rings on their toes...

- What, toe rings?

- Yeah, why?

- Well... Why not?

- I don't know... It's like wearing a hat on your knee.

Just let it bee

- Why do girls do that? Wear rings on their toes...

- What, toe rings?

- Yeah, why?

- Well... Why not?

- I don't know... It's like wearing a hat on your knee.

How many roads must a man walk down? 16? 42?

Much has been said on the irreverences of the wealthy. And yet, strangely enough, very little has been said of the sanity of the healthy.

I saw a man jogging early this morning. It might have been so early, in fact, it was really rather late last night. Indeed he was jogging, there's no doubt about that. I saw him and stared. I'm not usually rude and my actions don't get frowned upon much, but this man was jogging when the rest of the world should be sound asleep (except in certain parts of western Europe, of course, but that goes without saying). And so I saw him and thought the kind of thoughts you only think when immersed deep within your thinking, that he probably shouldn't be out here so early. Or so late. Depends on your outlook on life and the general state of the world.

Now, why should it be, dear reader, that this man feels the need to mock the very essence of human existence. Of course, to dwell within the parameters of one such statement, one should take a moment to consider that which should have been considered some little time ago. That a man indeed, is no greater than the sum of his powers, and that his powers are indeed no less than the subtraction of his will. And if that will should alas be frowned upon, one should resort to a course of action no bigger than a household average walnut.

So he was jogging and I was staring. In a way, I guess you could say, that he was jogging while I was not.

How many roads must a man walk down? 16? 42?

Much has been said on the irreverences of the wealthy. And yet, strangely enough, very little has been said of the sanity of the healthy.

I saw a man jogging early this morning. It might have been so early, in fact, it was really rather late last night. Indeed he was jogging, there's no doubt about that. I saw him and stared. I'm not usually rude and my actions don't get frowned upon much, but this man was jogging when the rest of the world should be sound asleep (except in certain parts of western Europe, of course, but that goes without saying). And so I saw him and thought the kind of thoughts you only think when immersed deep within your thinking, that he probably shouldn't be out here so early. Or so late. Depends on your outlook on life and the general state of the world.

Now, why should it be, dear reader, that this man feels the need to mock the very essence of human existence. Of course, to dwell within the parameters of one such statement, one should take a moment to consider that which should have been considered some little time ago. That a man indeed, is no greater than the sum of his powers, and that his powers are indeed no less than the subtraction of his will. And if that will should alas be frowned upon, one should resort to a course of action no bigger than a household average walnut.

So he was jogging and I was staring. In a way, I guess you could say, that he was jogging while I was not.

To swallow an owl

Alone was I when it came through the glass,
"Where am I?", thought my mind before much time could pass,
a shape had come out, I couldn't tell what it was,
but I knew it was real, and the room began to turn.
It halted and what was, was not no more.
Liquid color with bright sounds, decorated every wall.
And so soon as now those walls, where oh! so tall.
the shape began to speak, it spoke in words...
I'm pretty sure, but nothing seemed to make some sense.
Up got it, and to my side it crawled,
And to my amazement, I suddenly just yawned.
The thing got swallowed, sucked, more like it.
I don't know yet, but I think it was frightened.
Before my words could say a vowel,
that big dumb thing, turned into an towel.
Slowly it spoke, and wisely it expressed,
"I'm not a towel you daft punk, I am indeed an owl",
And it proceeded with grand eloquence,
to point out how everything is real (and how badly I was dressed),
As high as the wind can colorfully travel,
I knew it began, that trouble would unravel.
My mind was blown, and the owl departed
and then is when I knew, that over it was,
before it started.

Up next: Some other Woody Allen rip-off (not-very-good-rip off, I must add...)

To swallow an owl

Alone was I when it came through the glass,
"Where am I?", thought my mind before much time could pass,
a shape had come out, I couldn't tell what it was,
but I knew it was real, and the room began to turn.
It halted and what was, was not no more.
Liquid color with bright sounds, decorated every wall.
And so soon as now those walls, where oh! so tall.
the shape began to speak, it spoke in words...
I'm pretty sure, but nothing seemed to make some sense.
Up got it, and to my side it crawled,
And to my amazement, I suddenly just yawned.
The thing got swallowed, sucked, more like it.
I don't know yet, but I think it was frightened.
Before my words could say a vowel,
that big dumb thing, turned into an towel.
Slowly it spoke, and wisely it expressed,
"I'm not a towel you daft punk, I am indeed an owl",
And it proceeded with grand eloquence,
to point out how everything is real (and how badly I was dressed),
As high as the wind can colorfully travel,
I knew it began, that trouble would unravel.
My mind was blown, and the owl departed
and then is when I knew, that over it was,
before it started.

Up next: Some other Woody Allen rip-off (not-very-good-rip off, I must add...)

chicken

At some point something came from nothing...

Whether this makes sense or not is irrelevant. For this concept has had us bewildered for centuries. And, whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter, for there lies another similar yet more important question: Why, indeed, did the chicken cross the road?

It has been said that this chicken only wanted to get to the other side, and if so, the question would then be: Why? Why would a chicken absolutely need to get to the other side? Was there not enough satisfaction for it on the side it was already in?

Skeptics throughout history have questioned the actual existence of this chicken. They have justified its existence in popular thought, by stating that the idea of a chicken superseding its peers and migrating to a different setting helps people believe in themselves and in some way or another gives them hope in following their dreams.

However, we will not dig in deeper into this line of thought, simply because there are too many sociological implications in denying that which has become a symbol of our society and our history.

Now, who and where does this chicken come from? The chicken has been said to have been brought up in an atmosphere where a chicken’s right of freedom was withdrawn from them. You see, it was a very turbulent time in chicken history when this chicken was born.
Up next, maybe: A trip to the giftshop, but first, click here for more chicken